That being said, it’s hard being a Catholic right now. I think a lot of people are afraid to say it, but it’s true. This isn’t a great time for the Catholic Church.

Last week, I was reading a report about how there is now evidence that when Pope Benedict was a cardinal, he refused to defrock a pedophile priest. I read some of the comments below the article, (which I usually avoid doing on subjects that I know are going to incite comments that are going to irritate me), and one of them was, “How can anyone be proud to call themself a Catholic right now?”

I’m not really sure how to answer that question. At times, it gets tough to defend the actions of the church, particularly when there are some aspects of it that I don’t agree with as it is. Those who know me well know that despite the fact that I do attend Mass every Sunday, I’m definitely a Cafeteria Catholic–meaning there are certain teachings that I disagree with that I, for lack of a better word, ignore.

This can be difficult, particularly when there’s an announcement at Mass regarding one of the things I disagree with, and I sit there and listen to the announcement and can’t do much about it without making a scene. Thankfully, at the three parishes I’ve regularly attended in my life, that is rarely an issue, which is why I choose to attend those.

So why am I still Catholic?

I was reminded why this past Easter week, when I sang at a couple of the Triduum Masses at Holy Spirit. It seems like every Easter, I have a renewal of faith. I’ve attended many Protestant and other Christian services throughout my life, and I can honestly say that none of them have touched me as much as a Catholic Mass does. I like the ritual of it. I like the way it makes me feel. I don’t feel alone, and it really helps me to put things in perspective in my life.

And I think that’s what religion should be about. If it’s not making you feel good, what is the purpose of it? It shouldn’t be something that makes you feel bad or guilty. I’m not saying the Catholic Church is for everyone, or even that church in general is for everyone. I’m even willing to say that a belief in a higher power may not be for everyone. What brings me comfort won’t do the same for everyone.

I can’t defend the actions of some of the men in the priesthood. More than anything, I wish things like that didn’t happen. I know many priests who are truly good people who have inspired me to do wonderful things with my life. One of them is Father Albert at the Newman Center, whose 50th ordination anniversary I attended this weekend. There are good men in the priesthood.

For now, that is why I’m Catholic. It’s a bright spot in my life, and it brings me joy. And anything that brings you joy is worth doing.

Crystal practices "Seasons of Love" for Cabaret night on Oct. 1.

David hides from the camera at BJs on Oct. 2 before enjoying a pizookie. Those things are dangerous.

Jonathan, left, performs "I'm Not That Smart" while Father Bill helps out on Oct. 3 at Christ the King's annual cabaret night.

Also, I might as well just put this up for those of you who weren’t there. I performed a few songs at the cabaret night last night. I sang “Raunchy” from “110 in the Shade.” In the show, the main character, Lizzie, is trying to prove to her dad that she can flirt just like the other girls.

You can see it here.

In the last few weeks, I’ve really noticed that the desert can be absolutely beautiful in the springtime. One of the reasons I think that the desert is so beautiful right now is that it simply comes to life. Flowers burst out from the barren desert, a splash of color against the drab brown of the dirt. As a sign in my mom’s garden says, “Flowers are the earth laughing.”

Desert flowers are also very exotic looking. Perhaps it’s because they have to survive on much less water than a lot of other plants need.

I know I've taken a photo of these flowers before, but it intrigues me. I went back with my actual camera, (the last one was taken with my iPhone) and took a closer photo. May 8.

Not the most interesting photo, but I wanted to get a photo of our new Prius on May 9. I didn't think we'd actually end up with a Prius, but we gave it a test drive and absolutely loved it.

My friend Christine wanted me to take some photos of her for a job she's applying for. Here she is outside of Gorman High School on May 10. I was hoping to get a photo of my mom for Mother's Day, but she doesn't let me take her photo.

The flashlight at UNLV. I got to rehearsal a little early on May 11 and was able to take some photos. My friend Andrew didn't even know this was a flashlight. And, yes, it was, in fact, supposed to be facing up at first. I read that in a book I have about UNLV. Little known fact you won't find in the book: it has great acoustics. I have stood in the ridges and sung with fellow choir members, and it sounds absolutely wonderful. The sound just rings in your head.

The porch light in my backyard on May 12.

Andrew grins at Master Singers rehearsal on April 28. I'm not sure how many Andrew photos I have left until September. At least, not on Tuesdays. Our final concert of the season is May 16. We're singing Beethoven's Ninth with the Las Vegas Philharmonic.

Robert gives a thumbs up in Yogel's Frozen Yogurt on April 29. David, when you're here again, I think we should go. It's a do-it-yourself frozen yogurt place. It's my favorite of the four I've been to in town.

Overlooking a bar/lounge in Red Rock Resort on April 30. I loved all of the lighting fixtures in this hotel. I took a whole bunch. I had a hard time deciding, but ultimately decided on this one because it had people in it.

The wind picks up a model's veil at the fashion show at the Eco-Friendly Bridal Show held May 1 at the Springs Preserve. I got a lot of great photos there, and I'd like to return to take some more of the scenery. I went to the bridal show with my friend Kerri, who is getting married in September 2010. I hooked up her and her fiance.

UNLV's Doc Rando hall houses a breath-taking, ceiling-height pipe organ. The Las Vegas Master Singers Chamber Chorale sang a concert in that hall on May 2, using the organ, of course. The only thing I don't understand is why they placed the keyboard (or whatever the word is for organs) facing away from the audience. Not only is the organist's back to the audience, but it's especially difficult when the organist is accompanying a choir. They have to set up a mirror to see the conductor.

I almost burned my eyes taking this photo. The sun shines behind palm branches at Town Square on May 3. I went shopping with my mom and sister, and it was very hard not to buy anything. Robert and I are trying to save money for our trip to San Francisco in a couple weeks.

Facebook on May 4. OK, I admit, I waited until the last minute to take this photo.

My weekly photo of Andrew. Andrew looks at my iPhone before choir rehearsal on May 5. About half of my photos of Andrew, he is looking at something technology related.

I think these are orchids. I forget. I took this photo on May 6 at choir rehearsal at Christ the King. Father Bill doesn't allow fake flowers in the sanctuary, so although these are perfect looking blossoms, they are, in fact, real.

The "Asian section" of my library on May 7. I have my library grouped by genre. It's a mixture of books and figurines.

Tomorrow, I have tickets to see UNLV’s production of “The Music Man.” I really enjoy that show. It’s the only show I’ve actually seen on Broadway, and I think I appreciate it more now than I did back then when I saw it. Mariane is one of the roles I would really like to play one day.

I’m actually pretty excited about summer coming this year, even though that means hot, almost unbearable weather. I think every year, I forget just how hot it gets here.

An interesting flower found in Mountain's Edge Exploration Peak Park. April 13.

Andrew stands in Christ Church Episcopal. Note Jesus in the background. April 14.

I stopped on my way to work April 15 to take a photo of the mountains covered in rain.

A lily in my house on April 16.

I’ve gone a little flower crazy lately. All the flowers are blooming right now, and they are so easy to take photos of. I’m going to pick my 12 best flower photos of the year and put them in a frame with 12 empty spots to hang on my wall. I also bought a few other cheap frames to print out some photos for.

Julia plays piano during a break in choir rehearsal on April 1.

On a different note, I took a cool personality test this morning that my friend Andrew suggested. This is the personality type I am: ENFJ. Click the personality test link to take it yourself. It’s about 70 questions.

Here’s the last few days’ worth of photos.

This is one of the three crosses standing at the site where Holy Spirit Catholic Church will be built. March 25.

I actually almost forgot this day because I felt awful. This is Robert's new TIE Fighter that he bought in Downtown Disney. March 26.

I stayed home from work March 27, so I was able to catch Pepper when the light was shining down from the side window. I didn't alter this one at all because the lighting effect was so cool.

I took this photo when I was taking Pepper for a walk in the wash on March 28.

Robert played tag football with some of our neighbors on March 29. I love our neighbors. They are all totally awesome.

A light fixture in Tutti Bella on March 30. I didn't change the colors on this even though it was actually white. But the ones with the tungsten white balance just didn't look right.

I took some more flower photos, but I'm choosing this one because I've posted quite a few flower photos lately. This is las Vegas behind the Springs Preserve on March 31.

So often this year, I’ve seen photos I would love to catch, but I simply can’t. Today was Ash Wednesday, and I kept thinking how neat it would be to take a photo of people getting a cross of ashes on their foreheads. But I can’t really do that.

I went to a more traditional church for Ash Wednesday Mass because it was closer to work. I’m so used to Catholic churches without kneelers, that I never quite know what to do when I’m at one that has them. I have to watch everyone else. And forget genuflecting.

A rather morose photo of Andrew's hat.

Money flows into my truck in the form of gas on Feb. 25.

Feb. 13- Candles

Flowers at Town Square on Feb. 14

Julia stands in front of a stained glass window at Gorman on Feb. 15.

Berries in a basket at my mom's house on Feb. 16.

My weekly photo of Andrew. There is no "I" in soprano. Feb. 17

Fake flowers in a cup at Gorman. Feb. 18

On a different note, I’ve started trying out Weight Watchers. I’ll see how that goes.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve become so busy that even the fun things seem like chores. I really can’t remember the last time I just flat-out stayed home and vegged all weekend. It seems like there’s always something to do that we’ve been putting off during the week. And now my social calendar is booked until the weekend of Nov. 22.

Nope, scratch that. That’s the day I start up dog training again.

When I was little, I used to think about how cool it would be to be a grown-up. I could hang out with my friends anytime I wanted. Heck, I could hang out with them every weekend.

But now that I’m old, I find I don’t really want to do that. No offense to all of you out there, but sometimes I just feel like locking myself up in the house and not socializing with anyone.

I was looking forward to tomorrow night being the one time this week when I could come home, make dinner, and not have to go anywhere. But, of course, it’s the night of another presidential debate, and Robert wants to go to a watch party he was invited to by one of our friends. Or, there’s the enticing invitation from my friend Andy to go to the SciFi Cafe. Either way, there goes my Wednesday night. Thursday and Friday already are booked. So are Saturday and Sunday. Monday is looking promising.

Today as I was driving home from choir practice, I was lamenting not seeing my house in 13 and a half hours. It’s my own fault, yes. It’s my choice to be in a community choir. But, still– sometimes I just wish I could say no to obligations. This weekend, I’ve got to construct a PowerPoint for my upcoming concert and attend a social networking event with my college’s alumni association– both organizations of which I am a board member, lumping even more onto my schedule.

That’s not even counting the ideas that are stewing in my head to get a professional organization I’m a member of going again. And, of course, the music group at church.

I am fully aware that this stuff is all my fault. No one put me in this situation but me. And, hey, these are things I like to do, right?

About the only way I have figured out how to stop doing something is to go out of town. Which is also no easy feat, let me tell you. Taking time from work obligations is even harder than the volunteer ones.

The thing is… when I have nothing to do, I get a little stir crazy. There have been times I think I am looking forward to a nice evening relaxing at home, but then I walk through the door and suddenly feel the urge to *go* somewhere, to do *something.*

It’s like being busy is a sort of addiction for me. I think on the surface that I don’t want to be busy, but there is some sort of dependence to the feeling of being busy in my brain. And that is a scary thought.