One thing about Catholics is that we don’t talk about our faith that much. I’m not really sure why that is; we just aren’t encouraged as much as members of other religions to proselytize in a direct manner. I, also, have never felt extremely comfortable engaging others first in talking about religion. It’s one of those subjects that people just can’t talk about civilly. I try to avoid politics and religion, as I’m sure most people do. I save topics such as those for people I know and trust well enough to discuss them with. We don’t have to agree by any means, but I have to be able to know that the person I’m engaging in conversation with isn’t going to start needlessly tearing my personal beliefs down, but instead, treat the subject with respect.

That being said, it’s hard being a Catholic right now. I think a lot of people are afraid to say it, but it’s true. This isn’t a great time for the Catholic Church.

Last week, I was reading a report about how there is now evidence that when Pope Benedict was a cardinal, he refused to defrock a pedophile priest. I read some of the comments below the article, (which I usually avoid doing on subjects that I know are going to incite comments that are going to irritate me), and one of them was, “How can anyone be proud to call themself a Catholic right now?”

I’m not really sure how to answer that question. At times, it gets tough to defend the actions of the church, particularly when there are some aspects of it that I don’t agree with as it is. Those who know me well know that despite the fact that I do attend Mass every Sunday, I’m definitely a Cafeteria Catholic–meaning there are certain teachings that I disagree with that I, for lack of a better word, ignore.

This can be difficult, particularly when there’s an announcement at Mass regarding one of the things I disagree with, and I sit there and listen to the announcement and can’t do much about it without making a scene. Thankfully, at the three parishes I’ve regularly attended in my life, that is rarely an issue, which is why I choose to attend those.

So why am I still Catholic?

I was reminded why this past Easter week, when I sang at a couple of the Triduum Masses at Holy Spirit. It seems like every Easter, I have a renewal of faith. I’ve attended many Protestant and other Christian services throughout my life, and I can honestly say that none of them have touched me as much as a Catholic Mass does. I like the ritual of it. I like the way it makes me feel. I don’t feel alone, and it really helps me to put things in perspective in my life.

And I think that’s what religion should be about. If it’s not making you feel good, what is the purpose of it? It shouldn’t be something that makes you feel bad or guilty. I’m not saying the Catholic Church is for everyone, or even that church in general is for everyone. I’m even willing to say that a belief in a higher power may not be for everyone. What brings me comfort won’t do the same for everyone.

I can’t defend the actions of some of the men in the priesthood. More than anything, I wish things like that didn’t happen. I know many priests who are truly good people who have inspired me to do wonderful things with my life. One of them is Father Albert at the Newman Center, whose 50th ordination anniversary I attended this weekend. There are good men in the priesthood.

For now, that is why I’m Catholic. It’s a bright spot in my life, and it brings me joy. And anything that brings you joy is worth doing.