I read a fact this week from an uncredited source that people are 85 percent more likely to achieve their goals if they write them down. (Also, 60 percent of people are unimpressed by statistics.) So that’s what I’m going to do.

And I apologize in advance for the stream-of conscience format of this post.

Sometimes you’re just stuck in a rut and you don’t know how to get out. You know what? I’m there.

I’ve spent so much time the last few months obsessed with change and bettering myself and trying to figure things out that don’t make any sense. It’s occupied so much of my time and energy that it has started to consume every action I take.

In my quest to become a better person, I’ve almost started to forget about the things that made up Laura in the past — the Laura everyone used to love.

A few months ago, when I first started talking to people about some of the issues I had, many of them said they had no idea. I used to not talk about these things. I was a very private person, and I kept so many things to myself. That was probably a mistake. You can’t keep things bottled up, because then it all just explodes out one day.

And that’s exactly what happened to me. It all exploded out. As a matter of fact, I can pinpoint the exact moment and on whom it all exploded.

And since then, it hasn’t stopped. I’m reminded of “Mean Girls,” when the main character talks about “word vomit” and how she can’t stop it from coming out. I feel like that’s been me the last few months. I don’t *want* to talk about myself, but, somehow, I realize at the end of the day that I talked about myself all day.

Now I’m going to take control.

One thing every single one of my friends knows is that they can call or text me any time with a problem, and I will drop everything I’m doing and listen. Over the years, I’ve almost become an expert listener. I’ve come to be able to recognize when to give advice and when to keep my mouth shut. I know when someone needs a hug and when they don’t want you to touch them (that’s rare, by the way).

In the last year, I’ve fielded a good dozen calls or text conversations from various upset friends. And half of those have been at 2 in the morning.

One of my friends told me once that a good friend is someone you know you can call at any time, and they’ll just listen. I was so happy when she told me she felt that way about me.

Truly, there is almost nothing I like more than when I can give comfort. Nothing. I feel completely fulfilled just knowing that they are letting everything out on me and I am taking it all in for them. They need a person to talk to, and I’m a listener. I don’t pretend to have wise advice. Heck, I’m only 25. What do I know? I don’t have more than 10 years’ experience in anything except singing!

The benefits of that have been reciprocated. I have been able to talk to my friends about my problems. And though I’ve made absolutely no sense the last few months and have swung back and forth more wildly than a pendulum, they’ve been there.

I can feel the patience starting to wear thin. And that realization has been the turning point.

I have so many people I can call truly good friends. I’m going to go out on a limb and say I have at least nine people in my life that I would give that title to. There are NINE people I can turn to no matter the issue. NINE. Most people are lucky if they have one.

I am so completely lucky in love. I have so much love in my life, and I don’t know how I lost sight of it.

I don’t want to lose any of my friends because I’m being selfish and melodramatic. I hate drama. Yet in the last few weeks, I have been more dramatic and outlandish than the people I know that I avoid specifically because I think they are too dramatic. And frankly, looking back at all of that, I feel completed ashamed in myself.

I have so many blessings in my life. I have a great job that 25-year-olds just aren’t supposed to have, and I feel secure in an industry that very few feel secure in. I have a completely adoring husband who is putting up with everything ridiculous I throw at him. I have a family who loves me and has supported me through everything. I am healthier than I have ever been in my life. I have a TON of friends, so many that when I used to throw parties, I couldn’t even figure out how they would all fit in the house, even if they migrated to the upstairs too (they even filled up the massive house I was living in before… that’s saying something!). I am in a financial situation where I can go back to school and earn another degree if I wanted.

I have everything. Absolutely everything. And I’m not going to ignore those things anymore. This is the absolute end of my rut. I’m not going to rely on anyone else to pull me out, because I’m getting out of this completely ridiculous, out-of-control mess on my own.

I haven’t failed at anything in my life, and I’m sure not going to start now.