Busy
Yes, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. And I guess that serves as perfect fodder for my next post.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve become so busy that even the fun things seem like chores. I really can’t remember the last time I just flat-out stayed home and vegged all weekend. It seems like there’s always something to do that we’ve been putting off during the week. And now my social calendar is booked until the weekend of Nov. 22.
Nope, scratch that. That’s the day I start up dog training again.
When I was little, I used to think about how cool it would be to be a grown-up. I could hang out with my friends anytime I wanted. Heck, I could hang out with them every weekend.
But now that I’m old, I find I don’t really want to do that. No offense to all of you out there, but sometimes I just feel like locking myself up in the house and not socializing with anyone.
I was looking forward to tomorrow night being the one time this week when I could come home, make dinner, and not have to go anywhere. But, of course, it’s the night of another presidential debate, and Robert wants to go to a watch party he was invited to by one of our friends. Or, there’s the enticing invitation from my friend Andy to go to the SciFi Cafe. Either way, there goes my Wednesday night. Thursday and Friday already are booked. So are Saturday and Sunday. Monday is looking promising.
Today as I was driving home from choir practice, I was lamenting not seeing my house in 13 and a half hours. It’s my own fault, yes. It’s my choice to be in a community choir. But, still– sometimes I just wish I could say no to obligations. This weekend, I’ve got to construct a PowerPoint for my upcoming concert and attend a social networking event with my college’s alumni association– both organizations of which I am a board member, lumping even more onto my schedule.
That’s not even counting the ideas that are stewing in my head to get a professional organization I’m a member of going again. And, of course, the music group at church.
I am fully aware that this stuff is all my fault. No one put me in this situation but me. And, hey, these are things I like to do, right?
About the only way I have figured out how to stop doing something is to go out of town. Which is also no easy feat, let me tell you. Taking time from work obligations is even harder than the volunteer ones.
The thing is… when I have nothing to do, I get a little stir crazy. There have been times I think I am looking forward to a nice evening relaxing at home, but then I walk through the door and suddenly feel the urge to *go* somewhere, to do *something.*
It’s like being busy is a sort of addiction for me. I think on the surface that I don’t want to be busy, but there is some sort of dependence to the feeling of being busy in my brain. And that is a scary thought.
October 16th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Wow, Laura. My thoughts to a T. While I don’t have that many social organizations taking my time, I keep wishing I could be a kid again. I was in such a hurry to grow up, and for what? To be busy all the time and feel guilty when I’m not. I watch a movie these days, and I get pangs of regret for the time wasted because I think I should have been packing a box or working. That’s a problem when you work from home – any time you’re not working, you’re wondering how much money you could have made. But sometimes you just have to force yourself to relax. The only way for me to do that and not find something else to do like yard work, cleaning, packing, etc. is if I sit down with a favorite book, a video game, or a movie. Try it. Just make yourself sit down and veg out with a book for an hour or two…and your dog nearby. It’ll feel good. =)
October 16th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I completely agree. And don’t think it is just you, Laura, it is a societal addiction. I have to admit, I do get so busy doing work, school, friends, fun and other stuff ALL THE TIME that I get burnt out every few months. And i just want to spend an entire weekend AT HOME, with a book or a trashy TV show or just napping. I mean, I love seeing my friends, and since school takes up so much time, I feel like i have to play with my friends whenever possible. But sometimes, I think we all just need some alone time, to hang out quietly in our house, cooking or cleaning or wandering around or whatever. Alone time (in moderation) is vital, I think….
October 16th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Definitely in moderation. Too much alone time…*twitches*